Hitting rock bottom and then taking my friend to The Improv and getting invited to my first Hollywood party.
Setting the Table
18 Feb
Talking about things I could talk about if I had better equipment and making the jokey jokes. Talking about quitting internet dating for good. And getting ready for the deep dive into comedy culture in LA. Support me on https://www.patreon.com/thedavegoodshow! You could be my first contribution samurai how cool would that be???
Book 1, Chapter 3: Fear and Loathing in Las Los Vegales
6 Feb
Back in action. Breaking down the horrors of being an artist and moving to Los Angeles via Minneapolis via Las Vegas. A full hour of stories, jokes and abject defeat.
Interviewed by Jenny Jones…
25 Nov
You can’t stop Jenny you can only hope to contain her. We talk about the ins and outs of being people, rideshare driving, and The Godfather.
Book 1, Chapter Two: Escape to L.A.
25 Nov
In this chapter Dave covers the basics of Minnesota storytelling, why he left, and how everything is about to go wrong.
Book 1, Chapter One: Resume (play golf or get a job)
30 Oct
Dave discusses the three principles of communication and why should anyone listen to this show anyways? Also he breaks down around 20 of his various jobs besides occasionally producing cool shit. (33 min)
Introduction: It’s a Tricameral Trilogy
16 Oct
The odyssey continues… Dave discusses the gives and takes of being an independent producer as well as a story about heartache and getting his first burst of the stardust in L.A. (46 min)
Bacon Consumption for the Conscious Eater
4 Feb
Recently, Dave Good made the questionable decision of asking his Facebook friends for blog topics and promised to write 5 of at least 500 words. However, like all Angelenos he has a secret agenda. Which is to demonstrate enough writing proficiency to get a job doing it and /or progress ideas from the page to more complex collaborative performance concepts. He is also very worried that his constant micro works as an excellent status updater on the aforementioned Facebook are ultimately stunting his creative growth. Anyways, a guy he went to high school with named Nick offered “Bacon”. Dave has decided to start with that over various requests to explain complex patterns of human behavior because bacon requires way less research. Dave Good is very good at research but he also has severe ADD and will thwart complex administrative tasks at almost all costs. Unless of course someone is paying him to do said research because after all money does have a special way of helping him focus. Anyone in politics or poker knows exactly what he is talking about. The following is a true story about a nature adventure outside of Minneapolis somewhere near the Wisconsin border.
Ok let me just jump right in here I don’t want to waste your time with superfluous details.
Obviously when you go camping with 5-10 lady arts administrators from Minnesota bacon is going to a resonant part of the experience. I would love to tell you what happened the night before the bacon but all I really remember was being so drunk I fell backwards over a cooler and that we all thought it was super funny. Regardless, the next day we crawled out of our respective tents and marveled at the “Sexy Bacon Minx” as she prepared our posh and decadent breakfast. The process was expert and efficient and we delighted in the smoky salty magic of sliced pig belly. I’m not sure how many times each of us said, “I guess I’ll have one more” but I do know those numbers were statistically significant. It was a brunch worthy of our star studded celebration and we finished far less hungover and more impressed with ourselves than we previously thought possible. The pile of greasy paper towels left behind looked like the first draft of a bacon addict’s hand written thesis about bacon. I remember reveling in its scope and size. However our morning of the divine and sublime swine did not last until the end of time. Not long after coming to terms with our high stacked masterpiece of grease and paper, someone who will remain unnamed, decided to toss that epic stack of paper towels towards the still burning morning fire.
The towels landed dead center. After a brief pause, they quickly wilted and emitted what can only be described as the noise humans make when they take a deep breath to hold back tears. Then a faint centered circle formed and disintegrated into a gray void. And a black cylinder of smoke burst towards the sky.
Let me write this again.
A black… nearly opaque… absolute darkness… cylinder burst forth like a mystical demon prison unleashed toward a terrified and unready sky. It was a sight I will not soon forget. How many pigs worth of bacon had we consumed??? I cannot say but I discerned the tortured faces of at least 4 while their anguished spirits plumed from the freshly revealed heart of darkness. I do know we were all suddenly taken aback and at least one of us mentioned The Smoke Monster from Lost. (a once popular “Television Show” for those of you reading this in the distant future). After an anguishing amount of seconds the ultra-dark column of pig death had vanished and we were all left to face the cosmic implications of the experience beside the smelly remnants of the now dying fire.
Perhaps the strong constitution of the Minnesota Arts Administrator had already processed the moral ambiguity of bacon and I was the only one so intensely affected. Admittedly, I’m known to be quite sensitive. However, my relationship with bacon was forever changed. I’ve put it in the “special” category of food and only eat it during family holidays. Or if I have been served bacon while visiting a friend. Or when I’m in a burger joint and I can get grass fed beef with Maytag Blue Cheese and fried onion strings and local mushrooms and the bun has that perfect snap what am I going to do not add a little pig tummy to make it the tastiest thing in the known universe? I’m not a psychopath. I have feelings and big dreams and so do pigs perhaps we all know they are as smart as dogs. But no one ever rescues them because they aren’t cute! We so often confuse animal empathy for a selfish obsession with cuteness it drives me nuts! I’ve seen so many pretentious “animal lovers” crush bacon into lines and snort it I can’t even deal anymore! Hypocrisy is ubiquitous!
I’m getting off topic.
The point is I’m certainly not one of those people so I now only eat bacon when it looks really good and I’m too drunk to care or perhaps when it’s on sale and I’ve had a bad day and I know the ultimate tortured animal soul food drug will make it all o.k. again.
It is, after all, quite flavorful.
Love,
Dave Good (conscious eater)
Andrei Tarkovsky: A Beginners Guide
23 May
So after packing away your intense social anxiety you have left the house to attend a party. The inevitable has now happened and someone at the party brings up the movie “Solaris”. Here is how you want to approach all subsequent interactions regarding the sci-fi classic.
First, you need to know that they are not talking about the Steven Soderbergh/George Clooney remake, they are talking about the original film directed by legendary Russian filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky. It’s universally known by the kind of people you go to parties with as “a really amazing film”. To be clear, It’s o.k. if you haven’t seen the original but just don’t say anything if you have only seen the remake. Seeing only a remake and not the original is a crime against Art and Culture. Someone is bound to combine “sigh” with “bitchface” if you admit to that level of ignorance. However, if you have seen both films you can reference the Clooney version and even say “I actually kind of liked it”, provided you immediately follow with, “Of course they are very different films”. Also, don’t forget to be vigilant in the fight against overconfidence. For example, don’t say anything about how either version made you think “God” may actually be an expression of higher intelligences that exist throughout Universe. Blatantly demonstrating comprehension of either film will open you to the potential negative repercussions associated with intense peer jealousy.
If at this point you’re still feeling insecure and you need to emphasize your soul’s depth, watch Tarkovsky’s 1979 film “Stalker”. Then you can feel free to bring it up during all “Solaris” conversations. Don’t worry about being utterly perplexed by its meaning. No one will have seen it and they will get really excited and feign intense interest to cover up their simmering intellectual shame. When your now new potential friends say, “What was it like!?” you say, “Even more intense and complex that Solaris!!!”. They will “totally get what you are saying”. Now that you have achieved both attention and validation, it is your own responsibility to hit the group with a hilarious or heart-wrenching personal story. Provided you can come through at this crucial moment. Delivering a fascinating and slightly self deprecating window into your vast inner life. You should gain a shallow and fleeting acceptance for at least the remainder of the evening.
Potential follow up questions.
What if someone has seen “Stalker” and understood it? What if they start asking a bunch of probing questions!? Did Tarkovsky make other movies? Yes!? What if someone has seen those other movies and starts talking about them???
This person would be easily designated an “asshole”. The others in the group would not want to endure a similar scrutiny. Feel free to respond with disdain. The group will be on your side. Maybe say something like, “Look. Not all of us had time to run to the bathroom and google “Tarkovsky””. Even if this wasn’t the case they are pushing the “Tarkovsky Socialite Credibility” button far too hard and they should clearly know better. Maybe follow up the chastising with subtle compliment a few moments later. You know, to minimize the enemies one may accumulate when dispensing “social justice”. Then maybe congratulate everyone on their intellectual curiosity and diverse cultural knowledge. Subduing them with praise and establishing yourself as creator of the group’s collective identity. These are just my choices, feel free to make the experience your own. As with most things, just stick to the basics and take the additional opportunities as they come. When properly executed, a thoughtful approach to Andrei Tarkovsky can give a person a tiny break from the deep alienation of existence. And provide the faint hope of an infinite love outside ourselves.
The Dave Good Show 