I woke up this morning and did my usual routine of hacking up the previous nights cigarettes. I thought to myself, I am America and my lungs are The Gulf of Mexico. Like most of us I can’t even stomach reading an article about the BP disaster. The anger has been far to too paralyzing to handle.
This is the morning that I let the anger go… or at least start using it for something. I know what it’s like to be addicted to short-term pleasure in the face of long-term destruction. It is time for both of us to get real.
Anyone who has ever seen an episode of Intervention knows that addictions are rarely about the drugs. They are about lack of confidence, depression, and the absence of love. Perhaps all this American arrogance is just a cover for our own self loathing. We hack and wheeze but still choke down crude because speed and power makes us forget our short comings for the day. This country needs a natural pick-me-up. We need to get the balls back that we lost when the twin towers went down. We were emasculated and it is time to resolve this issue in the most healthy and bad ass way possible. We need to build something big. It is time to build a train.
“Environmentally Friendly Super Express Train”
I’m no engineer for sure, but I think we have forgotten the fun of American ingenuity. Any train will be far more efficient that then even the tiniest rage filled traffic jam. So let’s do this with some fucking style. I’m talking spinning rims, exposed block engine, and rooms full of big ass chairs, giant cup-holders, and every single satellite television channel on the planet. We will need to build everything ourselves to avoid any possibility of European pretention and Japanese efficiency. It’s a train all ready… it is efficient and pretentious enough. The New American Monster Garage is now open. It is time to pimp one serious ride.
The Dave Good Show 